Saturday, April 18, 2015

" Let me hang in suspense" : The Story

Good afternoon everyone. A select few of you know that I've been working on a plethora of fiber and textile pieces for the past couple of months. I have finally finished my tapestry/ quilt that I've
been slaving over for the past couple of months. I'm rather pleased with the outcome. Grab some popcorn or a cup of tea because it's story time:

I titled this quilt "Let me hang in suspense" because of a specific song that was evident in my life in the year of 2014. Sia's album being a big one but Sarah Jaffe's song "Before you go" was something that I cried many nights to. The whole song literally breathed my life. Now looking back onto that year and what I went through. I'm happier now to love myself and glad to get all of the horrible emotions and suicidal tendencies out of my system. But... that was the worst year ever.

The quilt was simply made out of my left over shibori dyed fabric along with whatever else I could find. The base is an old tablecloth. And the printed pieces are traditional printmaking techniques like relief, etching, and lithography. When I was sewing pieces onto this monstrosity, each piece was placed carefully and some of the pieces were sewn in a way that I wouldn't call traditional. Almost like a quick way of sewing, reference how people in my life were quick enough to judge me for who I am. I wanted it to show how "quilted" and or "pieced together" ones mind could look when they've been hurt so many times in a short amount of time. With using myself as a model, showing the more "steamy" pieces are to represent what I wanted to happen to me. 

Each component of the quilt has it's own story. From the time where I sunk myself into Houghton Lake, the time where I woke up in the woods covered in scrapes, and the time where I was almost raped.  There are many more other little pieces in the quilt where I want to leave for the viewer to pull apart. Each piece referencing the things that I experienced in 2014.

Disclaimer: I'm not in this stasis anymore. I did lose myself and I wanted to be loved but look where it got me. I'm not suicidal anymore and I don't want sympathy for what happened. It has made me who I am and I wanted to tell my story. Making this quilt was so therapeutic and it released the pain that I experienced and It made me move on. 

I just wanted to thank the lovely ladies of Quilt Mountain for inspiring me to go on this journey. When their exhibit was up during Artprize in Grand Rapids, I knew I wanted to create a quilt. So thanks again ladies.

Have a wonderful weekend my lovely readers. And remember... If you're hurting..." It's always darkest before the dawn" .
Much love

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